How are your interpersonal skills? - Part 1

A relative once confided that he had been rather gloomy at a party that was not very pleasant, because almost no one has talked to him. In the absence of the necessary interpersonal skills, has clammed scared like a crab, has embraced a section of the hall and hoped someone else would have made the first move. No one did and he was the loser. Afraid to initiate contact themself, was, of course, ignored.

Interpersonal skills are essential ingredients of good communication and social finesse, but it does not come naturally. They are closely related to the way we were brought up (if we expected to be seen and not heard), our inner feelings about ourselves, our confidence level and degree of concern for others. When these skills are not present in the group home, or office, can lead to loneliness, frustration, non-cooperation and poor service. Routine skills are required on three levels: personal, social and professional. To have them well-developed means that you can communicate verbally, physically and in writing with much more confidence and security.

For example, just knowing how to use a personal phone is an indispensable tool. Often, people dial a number without any idea of ​​what you are going to say or how you should confront the person at the other end. On the contrary, they become the victim of nervousness, while mumbling incoherent and eventually useless to waste time searching for information and their desire to be understood. On the other hand, some people may rudely or impatiently, respond to callers in a way that suggests some surprise that anyone should ring the number to disturb their peace!

The need for social skills

Good interpersonal skills assume even more importance for society. They are the invisible glue that binds the relationships between them. Without these skills, we would have caused much pain and anguish for our friends and colleagues and unhappiness for ourselves. Advance skills are revealed through the willingness to share ideas and resources, give credit where credit is due to constructive criticism, to investigate the health of a person or circumstance, or even be the first to say hello.

Shy people have trouble making the most of these things because their level of appreciation of self is often so low that it can project a positive image of themselves or take any genuine interest in others. The focus is always on themselves seeking approval without really having the courage to get what they want. Being pre-occupied with what foreigners are going to think, or how they are treated, shy people are in fear every interaction.

But if you are uncomfortable talking about, meeting people on their level or make constructive contributions, we are losing a lot of what helps us to hone the skills to perfection. Inevitably, they remain underutilized, underdeveloped and immature. My relative was afraid to talk with others before and, equally self-conscious, they were afraid to take the plunge too. RESULT: unnecessary stress, unnecessary fears and missed opportunities.

The third level of interpersonal skills is connected with our work. And 'where the work are in great demand, especially when a lot' of office politics stems from petty jealousy, lack of confidence and poor social skills. As the personnel manager of a large company whose secretary was the third in a year and she was already halfway through the door because of his rudeness. Being very good at his job, probably believed his position made him indispensable and he apologized for the 'trivia' treatment of staff properly. However, his inept behavior was a sure sign of weak interpersonal skills, common to those who neglect or waive their staff. They are often 'too busy' to communicate, but immediately showing up to pronounce the verdict the minute things go wrong.

Negative interactions

This is because, at the end of the continuum negative social skills are people who constantly find fault in the first place, no matter how good something is, who are often aggressive, who enjoy bullying others and also how to use violence to mask their lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Chronically devoid of interpersonal skills, use alternative methods of social interaction to push their way through the world. In this vigorously, using their physical size, intellect, narrow perspectives or methods of control to impose their views on others and belittle their efforts honest. This could compensate for their weaknesses, but to maintain their interpersonal skills at a primitive level. There is little room for maneuver, if one is always right!

People who are regularly abusive and aggressive, who are constantly on guard and suspicious of others, and who willfully display an air of bravado Ramboesque, have built barriers around it to avoid exposing their vulnerability - one that screams to be sought and appreciated. May have been injured in the past or who have had little personal recognition so go on the defensive, seeing injuries and insults even when none is intended.

Often they find it difficult to reason verbally because their verbal skills are limited and their actions dictated by habit rather than logic or context. For them, being aggressive breeds to 'hard' you want to show and hide their fear and acute lack of appreciation. However, the only guaranteed result is that these actions reduce their positive interactions even more, thus decreasing their status, as well as the esteem and respect for others.

It is not difficult to realize that speaking clearly and concisely, making people feel welcome, being able to join in a discussion, appreciate a colleague openly or rationally argue a point of view, are all useful life skills that improve our competence and general appeal ....