Couple Solving Problems

Solving problems in couples

The resolution of a problem in the couple is aimed at resolving a dispute or differences. Generally it is the behavior of a party that does not like to complain sometimes otra.Otras is mutual.

The problems are not always solución.Pero we will focus on how to resolve those that say they are subject to negotiation, to seek alternatives and it involves benefit to both.

It is therefore important to consider before: Have a set time and space to engage in specific problem solving

The attitude in these cases is to improve the relationship and address the issue as something that affects both parties and that both have something to focus decir.Si the matter as if the other has to make the change and we dedicate ourselves to press to ensure compliance, failure is almost guaranteed.

Define the problem:

Establish and identify the objective of each partner. Do not let them win or objectives are involved and get away with it, or retaliate, this makes the problem statement daño.Durante must include two parts. The definition and solution, one after another, without mezclarlas.No must define a solución.Hay tried to be clear what the problem is fixed.

We include in the problem statement,

1.-A statement indicating positive aspects in which the relationship is working and the problem is not important.

2.-Describe the behavior deseada.Trata not be specific and concrete, avoiding the disqualification of the persona.Hay to avoid words like "always" "all" are false and what it does is disqualify.

3.-Specify some of the situations in which the behavior or the problem occurs.

4.-Detail the consequences of that behavior provokes in the other part of the couple., Including new provocan.De feelings in the feelings we should not include insults or slights.

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5.-must be set as concisos.Así idea we have to avoid putting too many situations, look for causes, etc ...

6.-A time in which both state that the problem has been defined we must try to reach basic agreement on who has to change for the solution of.

PLEASE NOTE:

Do not put more than one problem at a time

You have to practice active listening is to summarize what the other says before intervening.

Interfererir No, do not make judgments during the problem definition.

Avoid trying to be neutral and conflict avoiding negativity or struggle to be right.

SOLUTIONS:

1.-Focus on the solution and not return to the previous one vez.Así a great way to establish the "brainstorming"

2.-You should try to focus on defining changes in the behavior of both, not only of causing problema.Recuerda the phrase, "if you want someone to change, start changing your". If you focus on this aspect see positive consequences, facilitated the change in the other person.

3.-Once the list of solutions is done a little analysis of the pros and cons of each of ellas.Debemos establish a consensus and to resolve the problema.El fact do so in writing, you mentalizing an obligation to greater specificity.

If we are in the case that change is complicated, it must establish a time and planning.

Finally it is necessary to track the agreement and assess whether the problem is decreasing or whether instead it needs some adjustment.